Walang nangyayari nang walang rason.Nothing happens without a reason. A slightly more confusing way of saying "everything as a reason".
My father only said it to me once when I was a little boy, but somehow, it got stuck in this brain of mine. If I remember correctly, he used crying as an example.
Walang umiiyak ng wala lang.Maybe I was crying back then and I didn't want to tell him why. That part I can't remember.
I haven't really realized that I've been adhering to it until I got to college. Then again, "everything" does mean, well, everything. Including the effects of inanimate or non-sentient entities, strokes of luck or misfortune, countless coincidences that happen all around us, which, as the phrase suggests, happens or is done for a reason. This may now suggest that there is an external force, holding that reason, that compels things to happen as they do, which in turn, is a point of a heated, not to mention pointless, argument between idiots of two ideologies. So I like to narrow down that "everything" to people. People's thoughts, emotions, decisions, actions, reactions, everything. Everything we do has a reason.
We've only had 2 "informal" sessions in our introductory psychology (during the time of writing), but I've come to realize a very humbling feature of the course. Psychology (as per my narrow view of it), and the question "why?" in general, begs us to be more compassionate as we navigate through life. The need to understand other people's reasons (and just as importantly, your own) for doing the they do steers us away from ignorant hate. Before you go on a rampage on how they're not supposed to disagree with you because they are brainless maggots without breeding, stop, calm yo tits, breathe, and think. Even in an age where trolls have become as common as sidewalk trash, I still like to adhere to the belief that people just don't do things for no reason. There will always be a force propelling them to the direction they are headed. Understanding what this force is may not necessarily lead us to agree with other people, but at the very least, it prevents you from taking things too personally (a problem I know I have, after years and years of internally denying it) and spark conflict. Usually, in order to understand the "why", we have to elevate ourselves from the situation; an overseer's perspective. This lessens the chance of conflict since there's at least one person who understands the situation, and has the opportunity to alleviate it : you.
And this is exactly why I dislike blind haters. People who shouts out their dismay on matters without understanding why the hate on it; what exactly ticks them off. This leads to an overblown display of discontent on a general or broad view of the matter, when in fact, they are only irritated by one aspect of it. I've been irritated by a bunch of people in the past. Some still do. Ok, most still do. But that's only because they're a pretty small bunch! (see: excuses)
Anyway, the point is, I've started examining myself why I'm irritated at these people. Turns out, even if at time, I'd like to smite them out of existence, I'm only repulsed by certain aspects of them. That's when I try to examine them. Why do they act that way? What are their reasons? Oftentimes, they're reasons far beyond the surface; far beyond the little quirks that annoy the sht out of me. At times, I even find myself reaching out to them to talk about their problems, the very reason why they act like dicks. Now, even if I understand them, it doesn't exactly erase my irritation of them completely, but I at least can steer clear of their ticks or even prevent them from acting that way by not triggering them with my actions. As long as they don't do their sht, it won't annoy me, and we'd be able to co-exist and have fun together.
Understanding the my own reasons are especially important to me. I've come to realize that I don't usually understand why I feel the emotions I feel. When I was little, I learned to love (fine, admire. don't go nuts with the wild idea of kids falling in love) certain people of the opposite gender. I grew a little older and I started feeling a tightness in my chest whenever the people I care deeply about seem happy with other people. A few years more, I've come to understand that this was jealousy. It felt impure when contrasted with "love", the feeling that I was supposedly feeling. It was not a feeling I was ready to accept as my own. Only years after that I've come to terms with it and say, "You know what, that's normal!" Obviously, the next evolutionary step was the question, why?
Why is it normal to be jealous? Why do I get jealous? Is it the same reason across different events and different people? Why do I feel the same sensation even without the presence of another guy? Does it also count as jealousy? If not, what is it, and why do I feel that way?
Ironically, I'm comforted by the amount of questions that pop up when thinking about my own emotions. To me, it means that the answer is not shallow. It can't be contained recklessly using words like "jealousy" or "love" because these words are not light. They have weight. They are heavy, and so are my emotions. Anyone's emotions, for that matter. It's a jumble of thoughts, emotions, needs, wants. And at the root of it all, a reason. An answer to the "why" of things.
