I feel there's something lacking. I still can't pinpoint what it is, but I feel like there should something...more. Lately, I've been feeling a rather steep decline in my willingness to be productive. I simply can't get myself to read my notes, touch up on those diagrams, or even search anything...well, anything. In the next days, I find a pattern to what I'm doing. Mainly because I often realize, "Hey, haven't I done this just a few days ago?" or "Haven't I listened to these songs for the past week without switching?". It feels cyclical. Like there's a routine to what I'm doing. And the worst part is that I didn't catch on it sooner.
Once you've been caught on that routine, you won't even realize you're in it. Simply because you're used to doing whatever you're doing. It's "normal" for you to be doing this or doing that in the same time of day everyday. Seemingly, nothing's wrong. This is particularly true for harmless routines. Same goes with habits. The routine you're doing doesn't harm you in any way so there's nothing to signal up your brain and say, "Hey man, we gotta stop doing this. It's becoming a problem for us.". No. As a matter of fact, it even lets your mind "rest" by saving it the effort of consciously thinking. You act out your routine almost involuntarily and surprisingly without fail. If most of your daily activities consist of routines, then you're most likely not using that much brain power to get through the day.
When you are now presented with something coming outside of your routine, for example, a requirement to finish or a reading to...well read, it gets pushed over or thrown away. It's not part of the flow. You may try and incorporate it suddenly in your "schedule", but in the end, you find yourself listening to the same music while staring at a blank screen with the same opened tabs, not able to finish anything.
As the deadlines come closer, a certain pressure drives you to a corner. You get more anxious on why you're not doing the things you're supposed to be doing. By putting it all off before, you now have such little time to finish. And your workload has piled up! Holy damn, what to do?! This is now becomes the signal. The signal that tells your brain, "Hey man, we gotta stop doing this. It's becoming a problem for us.". You're now presented with a negative result due to your routine. If this still doesn't wake you up, an even more hard-hitting signal will come after some time. This is when you've actually missed your deadline or failed a quiz or an exam. These present you with an even more concrete signal to stop. Your grades will get lower, your boss will start asking what's wrong (or simply eat your ass up, if that's the kind of boss you have), and so on and so forth.
If at this point, you still can't pull yourself out of the deep shthole you've dug called a "routine", then you're gonna have to do some serious thinking. And talking. Think about your current situation more carefully. Think about the consequences your routine has made. Then talk about it with your close family and peers. Ask them for help. Ask them to push you out of the tight spot that you've stuck yourself into.
Of course, it'd be nicer if you don't get to that point. Once the first signals come your way, be aware of them and act upon them immediately. Signals at that point hover around inside your head and your head alone. Once you've ignored those signals, those signals will materialize in the outside world, where things can be pretty permanent. You wouldn't want that.
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