Sense of Guilt

     It's not exactly a bad thing to have a sense of guilt in the actions that we do. Personally, I think having a proper sense of guilt compels us to do the "right thing". Having little to no sense of guilt makes it hard for someone to keep promises or meet deadlines. There's nothing stopping them from brushing off appointments and meet-ups. This is especially true when it comes to social contracts, where they're not really bound by an official memo written in a piece of paper or an order from a superior. The only thing you can hold on to is, ultimately, their sense of guilt.

     "She'll bring those notes tomorrow for sure. I've been asking for those for over a week now."
     "I'm sure he'll come, he wouldn't want to keep us waiting for too long, right?"
     "I've helped those guys out when they called for help before, naturally, they'd help me when I'm in need, right?"

      Such fantasies.

      When dealing with people without a good sense of guilt, all those assumptions will mean nothing. They won't really think much if you've been asking for those note for weeks or if you've been waiting too long or if you've helped them out before. None of those will matter. All you'll be getting is an excuse that you'll find either irritating or idiotic (or a gut-wrenching mix of both) or something beyond all that : "Oops."

     Now you'll be left wondering. How can that person afford to put off such promises, especially when it's of utmost importance? You've put your trust on that person, thinking that he must have understood the gravity of the said promises, yet he comes back after a couple of hours, late, and oblivious of how upset you've become. The more he smiles so nonchalantly, the more your urge to punch it out of his face increases. Don't worry, it's pretty normal. Actually punching him is a whole different story, though. I don't recommend it since after you hit him with a solid straight to the face and he bleeds from his nose and mouth, you'll still be the one in a disadvantage. Remember, the social contract is of great value ONLY to you. He'll simply think of you as some barbaric idiot who'll punch somebody just because he's 3 hours late for small group meeting. What's all the fuss about, right? Psh. Most of the time, nothing will change on his side. You'll just have a more destructive atmosphere around each other, which a no-no especially when you still need to work together for a long period of time.

      (But if you really can't help it, make sure you throw a punch hard enough to knock him out or make him whine like a bitch. So that whatever happens, you'll have that image of him lying in the floor, bleeding, and quivering in pain. It'll make for a pretty satisfying memory.)

      What then must you do if such a person without a sense of guilt fails you for the nth time? Sad to say, I don't know a way out when dealing with them myself. I haven't tried punching him (yet), confronting him, or anything in particular, really. I feel like I'll waste out precious working time if I make too big of a fuss about it. What I do, I just don't expect him to fulfill his end of the deal, for the most part. Better yet, I don't even begin to create any such deals with him.

     Expecting something from someone without a sense of guilt is one of the most frustrating feelings you can avoid quite easily. In the end, it'll be your choice if you choose to steer clear from unnecessary annoyance or walk right into a spiral of pent-up irritation and bad vibes.