...Then You Get The Morning After

Ok, since I woke up really late today, it's technically the "afternoon" after for me.

You remember the surge of emotions that you went through the night before. All the things you said (or screamed), all the walls you tried to punch down and the embarrassing squeal you made when the wall decided not to crumble like you've imagined comes back to you after you wake up. Everything you did that night seemed...appropriate at the time. Now that you've rested, a question quickly passes your mind,

"Why the hell did I do all that?"

Embarrassment fills up your chest. You feel embarrassed for all the vile thoughts that you consciously permitted to run through your head. Your body doesn't even have an ounce of alcohol in it, but the rush you felt last night exceeds anything alcohol can offer. The rush of seriously not giving a single fck. But like any kind of rush, a sudden crash came shortly after. That night, you realized that you were tired of being strong all the time, or at least of acting strong. You wanted to be the weak one for a change; the one taken care of. Quickly, a lesson from experience hits you : no one's there to be strong for you when you decide to be weak.

Thank goodness. This time, you were wrong.

This time, you were saved.

You remember all the things you told her and how many times you've tried to repeat your point. How vulnerable you must have seemed. But you remember feeling okay.

"It must have been a huge trouble for her hearing me out."

This thought makes you want to grab your phone and text a long chain of apology. Then you remember you've already said sorry a number of times. Or did you? You double check. In the end, you trust that she got what you want to say and you thank her for the nth time in your head.

You can't really lie in bed forever since the thought of food compels you to get up. You thought pancakes would be nice, so you go ahead and make some.

You still feel a sting on your chest but now you acknowledge it as a natural occurrence. A phase everyone has to face. A hurdle you know you'll be able to overcome. So you accept the pain and let it make you stronger. You then continue making your pancakes.

It was chilling cold last night. But the morning after seems to be a little bit warmer.